Monday, October 22, 2007

TorBlogz are sooo 2004

Ah, trying to score that elusive Pitchfork headline, not an easy task. You know it's tough out there when your label posts a blog that they hope your blog will reveal some tour tragedy to get press:

Let's make one thing clear: we're on board with the new marketing plan!

We had a back-tire blowout on the drive from San Francisco to Austin, does that help?

It's rough right now being a label in a post "In Rainbows" world, but since we're in this together and finger-stirring the brainpool, we've come up with some compelling ideas to get the actual label some attention:

- Release the Devendra/Chan sex tape on YouTube.

- Set fire to the entire Beggars inventory (yes, fires still make headlines after all these centuries). If people want it, you can repress it. If not, take the insurance money and open a coffee shop.

And don't forget the basics:

- Reinvent your image. Get some new press shots and a new look, but don't cut that hair! (long hair is in again)

- MySpace is a great way to get in touch with the youth: showcase the label's personality with photos and wacky backgrounds, and work on getting a feature.

Also, we don't want to tell you how to run the business, but have you noticed fucked up female celebs are hot right now? Unify the movement and create a talent division for these girls! Pioneer members should include Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears (tip: Hannah Montana has potential with some creative development).

Soooo back to us, just yesterday our sound engineer Scott, in a moment of drug-induced lucidity, described our music as "a polar bear in the frickin' Milky Way." Surely we can find a way to use this.

PS: If you can build a cool $20k gear replacement fee into our budget maybe we can arrange for "another exciting thing to happen."
(....easy dude, I'm kidding)


A message to the guy in the front last night who was pissed about the video cameras and yelling "Do you want to play for us or YouTube?".... We didn't know the people videotaping the show. And most of the time we couldn't see them. Suggestion: instead of yelling at us, say something to them about it. Or move closer to the stage so they can't get in front of you. We know how frustrating it can be to have people in front of you videotaping, but yelling at us will only get you on YouTube with an unflattering title.

Thanks to fans in DC, Chapel Hill and Philadelphia who came to the shows! CYA TONIGHT IN NYC BITCHES!


Post a Comment